When progress requires more than one brain.

Have you ever spent so much time thinking about something that you actually stopped making progress?

The thing with our brain is (similar to an AI model) - it can only work with what it has. Sometimes making progress, defining next steps, or getting inspiration requires you to find another brain to work with.

Sure, AI can be a nice collaboration partner, but over the last several thousand years, we have required human interaction. 

The next steps, ideas, inspiration might just be a really good conversation.

Find the Right Brain

I recently had a conversation with Megan Malik, who works with individuals and organizations to help them process different types of grief.

She made an interesting observation about the kinds of friends we have and how important it is to recognize what we need from them.

For example, you might need someone who will simply listen without judgment. Someone who isn't trying to fix anything or tell you what to do next.

Or you might need someone who will help you figure out the next step you need to take. Someone who will cheer you on, challenge you, and help you take a step forward.

I'm really good at being that second friend.

If you need a cheerleader, someone to help you think through your options, or a little accountability to get moving, I'm here.

Neither type of friend is better than the other. They simply serve different purposes.

And that got me thinking about the people we turn to when we're trying to figure something out.

It's Hard to Be Curious About Yourself

I'm a genuinely curious person. I love learning about people, understanding how businesses work, and asking questions that help uncover something new.

It's a big part of what I do professionally.

However...I have discovered that it's a lot harder to be genuinely curious about yourself.

When I'm working with a business, I can ask questions about their strategy, their customers, their challenges, and what they're trying to accomplish. I can challenge assumptions and connect ideas that might not seem related.

But when I'm trying to do that for my own business? It's much harder.

I'm too close to it. I already have opinions, assumptions, and ideas about what the answers should be. That makes finding the right question to ask all the more difficult.

The truth is, sometimes I don't need advice at all ... just need a really good question.

When Other People See What You Can't

I meet with an executive coach every month as an intentional investment for myself.

He doesn't need to tell me what to do. In fact, some of our most valuable conversations happen when he asks me a question that makes me reconsider how I've been looking at something.

And that kind of outside perspective isn't limited to professional coaching.

I recently had dinner with a friend who looked at me and said, "Hey, you look like you're really anxious."

I hadn't actually identified myself as anxious.

But she was right.

I had a lot going on with family and kids, and I was carrying more stress than I'd realized.

She noticed something I hadn't stopped to recognize in myself.

That's the value of having people in your life who can help you see what you might be missing.

Sometimes they help you recognize what you're feeling. Sometimes they challenge how you're thinking. And sometimes they help you find a way forward.

But those aren't always the same people or the same conversations.

Businesses Get Stuck in Their Own Heads, Too

The same thing happens in organizations.

Businesses develop ways of thinking about themselves. They have established processes, assumptions about their customers, and ideas about what they do well.

And over time, those assumptions become so familiar that people stop questioning them.

"We've always done it that way."

"Our customers wouldn't want that."

"That's not how our industry works."

Maybe those things are true. But when was the last time someone asked? When was the last time d the que

It's one of the reasons outside consultants, advisors, and coaches can be so valuable to organizations.

It's not because they know more about your business than you do. In fact, they probably don't: And that is what makes them valuable

They can approach a problem with genuine curiosity. They can ask questions that people inside the organization might not think to ask. They can challenge assumptions without being tied to the history of how things have always been done.

There's a reason companies invest in outside perspectives, whether that's a large consulting firm like Deloitte or an independent advisor.

Sometimes you need someone who doesn't already know all the answers.

What Do You Need From the Conversation?

One of the things I've taken away from my conversation with Megan is that we should be more intentional about who we turn to and why.

What do you want out of the conversation/exchange:

• Are you looking for someone to listen?

• Do you need someone to help you recognize what you're feeling?

• Are you trying to explore an idea or make a decision?

• Do you need someone who will challenge your assumptions?

• Are you ready for someone to cheer you on and hold you accountable?

Those are all valuable conversations. But they serve different purposes.

Get Out of Your Own Head

Whether you're working through something personal, trying to grow your business, or facing a difficult leadership decision, there's value in finding someone who can help you explore what's going on.

The next time you find yourself going around in circles, ask yourself:

Am I really exploring this problem, or am I just repeating what I already think I know?

And then consider who might help you see it differently.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is get out of your own head and into a good conversation.